This Heat Has Got to Go and I Need My Mind Back

I had forgotten how much the heat bothered me last year.  Today the high was in the upper 90s and our a/c isn't working well. During the middle of the afternoon, it was 87 degrees in the house and the outdoor temp was 92.  All I could could do was lay in the bed with the ceiling fan and a floor stand fan blowing on the bed.. As I cooled down, I dozed off and slept really well. When I woke up my pain was still around a Level 4: The pain is getting stronger, you are taking more OTC medications but they don't last long. You begin to cut back on your activities in favor of just sitting down.

I am feeling so much better that I'm afraid I will over do it trying to get caught up with the things that were left undone last week when I could hardly move.  That's one of the hardest things about this collection of diseases that I have.  A good many of us with fibro are overachievers who are accustomed to having a spotless home with a place for everything and everything in its place.  I was one of those people. I had a housecleaning plan where I scrubbed the bathrooms three days a week and cleaned my baseboards every three months. That's no longer possible and it is really hard to accept.  I'm use to being the woman who could do it all.  There's no way I come even close. 

I have a long list of things I need to get done in the next few days. Ten years ago, I would have been able to get it all done in one day and throw in a couple of loads of laundry that I would fold and put away. (Currently there are two loads of laundry on the couch that we've been going and pulling what we need from.  I hate that.  Remember "a place for everything and everything in it's place?")  

On my to do list is sorting through a huge stack of medical bills, figuring out which ones are duplicates and making a good list of what we actually owe.  I'm sure in the stack I'll find other bills that I may or may not have paid. My cognitive problems have gotten so bad that it's not unusual for me to not discover that a bill is over due until the collectors start calling. Because of the problems this has caused in  embarrassment, late fees and bank charges, my precious husband is taking the job of paying the bills and balancing the checkbook.  Before I hand it all over, I feel responsible to sort it all out so that he can figure out what questions he has for me.  It will also make it easier for him to figure out where to start to get it under control.

I was looking for some information to help me not feel so frighten about the memory problems I'm having.  I did a Google search and came across information on the Mayo Clinic.  I'm not sure how I feel about it because it paints a pretty negative picture of what I have to look forward to l.  Here's what I found:

According to the Mayo Clinic website, your brain changes as you grow older just like the rest of your body. Many people notice gradually increasing forgetfulness as they age. It may take longer to think of a word or to recall a person's name.  But consistent or increasing concern about your mental performance may suggest MCI. Cognitive issues may go beyond what's expected and indicate possible MCI if you experience any or all of the following:

• You forget things more often.
• You forget important events such as appointments or social engagements.
• You lose your train of thought or the thread of conversations, books or movies.
• You feel increasingly overwhelmed by making decisions, planning steps to accomplish a task or interpreting instructions.
• You start to have trouble finding your way around familiar environments.
• You become more impulsive or show increasingly poor judgment.
• Your family and friends notice any of these changes.

The article went on to say that if you have MCI, you may also experience depression, irritability and aggression, anxiety and apathy.  I don't have any aggression problems but I definitely have all the others.  I hate to admit it but I am so overwhelmed when it comes to too little money and and too many bills.  I am so discouraged that I can't come up with any ideas on how to manage our money or keep the house clean.   I have often said that Fibromyaglia has changed my life as I knew it.  When I've said that I was talking about it had changed my life physically.  I had no idea how much it was changing my life from an economic and organizational standpoint.  Stress and worry causes Fibromyalgia to worsen and I can see that happening a good deal.  I'm not sure what we are going to do.  My prayer is that Bill will figure out how to get this mess unraveled and everything will ok.  

It's taken me almost three hours to write this so I'm going to bed.  If I didn't have time to write about my other tasks for tomorrow the odds are I'm not going to get around to doing it.tomorrow.. Tomorrow night I'll have to update you on what I got a accomplished and what I need to do do Friday.j 

Cynthia

 

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