Saturday, June 18, 2011

This has not been a good week.  My pain has been on a roller coaster and my fatigue levels have been the worse they have been in months.  Insomnia showed up both Wednesday and Thursday nights.  Couldn't sleep until 7am the next day.  That just increases the fatigue and the pain.  I didn't get anything done around the house except vacuuming.  While I didn't really have the energy to do it and Mr. Supportive would have done it when he got home, I couldn't stand seeing the dog, cat and rabbit hair on the floor another minute.  If we can ever afford to do it, we'll have hardwood/laminate flooring instead of a light color carpet.  The dog is constantly shedding his dark hair - it's one of the basset traits he has - and it shows up something horrible on the cream colored carpet.  One of the cats is a calico so her dark hair shows up as well.  Our living room carpet is a dark green.  Why the people that built our house did that, I'll never know.  The rabbit is a light brown and the other cat is what most of us call orange but in the Maine Coon world he's considered red.  Their hair shows up awful on the green carpet.  Since Carter likes to sleep up next to the rabbit's play pen, their light colored hair changes the color of the carpet in that area.

I'm going to look for a fatigue level scale tonight.  It just occurred to me that if  there's a pain scale there should be a fatigue scale.  If I can't find one, I'm going to compose one to use here.  I think it will make it easier for me and those reading this to have my fatigue defined.  Like I said, it's been awful this week and I'm really not sure how to describe the fatigue.

Since I'm trying to save money by couponing, I went over the grocery ads and put a list together and matched my coupons up.  When I went to both Walmart and Target, I rode the electric scooter.  I see it as a sign of my "failure" but I knew that I needed to go all over both stores to get the things we needed.  I also knew that if I tried to walk, I'd never make it.  I've decided to call my insurance company and see if they will pay for one if I get an order from my doctor and find out how much my cost would be on it.  If it's very much, then I'll have to forget about it and continue to miss out on things that require much walking.  It's one thing for me to have to stay home when our friends go out.  It's another thing for Mr. Supportive to miss it because he feels he should stay home with me.  It's not fair that fibro and chronic fatigue have ruined my life.  It's for sure not fair that it's ruining his.  I miss out on so much with my grandchildren because of it. Until I couldn't walk very far, I never realized how much we depend on walking.  I know that sounds crazy but think about.  I'm not talking about your everyday getting around.  I'm talking about  when it comes time to do fun stuff.  Things like going to the zoo or just to the park.  Those are things that unless I have access to a scooter, I can't do anymore.

Back to my shopping yesterday.  I got some good deals and we now have enough body wash and deodorant to last us about six months and I probably didn't pay a total of $10 for it all.  That will be a huge help. Body wash and deodorant cost was not something I paid attention to when I was able to work.  Now that we are living on 40% of what we were then, it's a lot of money.  Especially when you realize that you can not stink or buy a pound of ground beef or a whole chicken.  Bathroom tissue will be my next thing to stock up on when the tp sales comes around. It's another thing that I didn't pay much attention to the cost of but I do now.

I did better on this shopping trip than my last one up until the end of the day. That's when my pain and fatigue decided to show up all at once instead of easing into being there.  One minute I was a Level 5 and the next a Level 8.  That's the way Fibromyalgia is.  One minute you are functioning pretty well and the next you can't function at all.  The fatigue is the same way.

Friday  morning I drove Mr. Supportive to work because it had rained Thursday night and the forecast for Friday was 50% chance of rain.  That meant that I had to go back and pick him up.  When I got home from shopping, I brought in the items that had to go in the freezer or the refrigerator and left everything else in the car.  I set my alarm and went straight to bed until time to pick him up. I'm really not sure how I woke up to go get him but I did.  Usually on payday we go out for an inexpensive dinner but he could tell by looking at me that we shouldn't do that.  When we got home, Mr. Supportive got the groceries out of the car.  I went to bed for what I intended to be a short nap.  That was about 6:45pm Friday.  I woke up about 8am Saturday.  I stayed up long enough to see Mr. Supportive off to work and went back to bed.  I got up again at 3pm.  

With all that sleep, I am still very tired.  I'd like to go to the bookstore with Mr. Supportive to get him a book for Father's day tonight.  Tomorrow is my altar guild's Sunday to prepare and then put away the items used on the altar.  I'm not sure how I'm going to do either one.

My pain is down to a  Level 7 but I hoping it will be a Level 6 since the sun is going down and it's getting cooler.  If I can get it down to a Level 5 by in the morning, I'll be able to go to church.  That's very important to me.

Mr. Supportive has a theory that the heat may be what's making my fibro be so ugly to me.  Our air conditioning is not working very well so the house is not as cool as it should be.  He's sending me to our oldest daughter's later this week to see if being cool will help.  Being with my grandchildren will help my depression for sure.  It get's lonely being home alone, day in and day out. I talk on the phone some days but it's not the same as having someone with you.  I will miss Mr. Supportive more than I can say but I've got to do something to feel better.

It's time for him to get off work so I'm going to go and try and make myself presentable.  I love this man more than I could ever put in words.  Having him love me like I love him makes everything better.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Life is all about learning. Sharing your thoughts will help us do that together. All I ask is that you keep the language PG and that you not leave mean spirited comments.