September 14 and 15, 2010 - Pain Level 10+

I woke up Tuesday morning as if a ton of bricks had hit me.  The pain was so severe that I had no appetite and I could do nothing but lay in bed and moan. I managed to warm up something for supper but all I could get down Tuesday night was a couple of pineapple rings.  Wednesday was worse.  I ate absolutely nothing.  I know I have to eat but it makes me sick to try.  I've been drinking lots of water to try and stay hydrated.  I've also been running a low grade fever and my lips are dry and cracked.  Wednesday night, I cried myself to sleep because the pain in my legs was so severe that I couldn't lay still and the pain meds weren't touching it. Bill had to fix his own supper because I couldn't stand long enough to do it.  Why can't I be a normal wife, mother and grandmother?  In my mind there is still so much life to live but my body refuses to let me live it.  I don't remember the last time I've been this down.  All I want to do is pull the covers over my head and cry.